My brain gets foggy when I try remembering how I felt in the moments after waking up from what I thought was a terrible dream, nightmare really. Watching the best part of you die. The person who had believed in me so much, had loved me so much and had given my life such meaning. She was my best friend on this whole earth, the one person I could tell her just about anything to and I knew she would love me regardless.
Waking up on that Saturday morning, then it hits the effects of the day before, the non-stop days ahead, planning, creating, making final preparations for my mother’s funeral. My sisters, my dad and I planned the arrangements, we reminisced a lot but the one thing that mom never told us was what she wanted when she passed away, I guess we all thought we’d live forever.
When we were younger, I can remember her saying she wanted “sleepwalker” played at her funeral, in case you don’t know what that is, here is a clip, Bing Videos. I remember watch LaBamba with her as a kid and her saying during his funeral procession she wanted the same song played for hers. Of course we laughed about it then, but in reality, when the time came, that was the one thing we knew she had said she wanted.
Over the next days, we took care of things, we picked out the casket, flowers, pamphlets, and when it came time Staci and I went to the funeral home, and I did her make up while Staci did her nails. These were her wishes we were sure of it, she never wanted a McGinty hair to be flying free, IYKYK. After all day at the funeral home and sorting out all of the preparations we went home to spend hours putting together pictures, picking out the best ones of her! She was so beautiful. We made her a beautiful video for the visitation, back then they still did the visitation one day and the funeral the next, now i guess funeral homes want them in and out like fast food restaurants.
I am hurt, my heart hurts badly; So, before my mother passed away, we hadn’t spoken to my Aunt Anne, my dad’s sister, due to family drama years earlier. But her and my Uncle Troy were the first ones there to comfort dad, and us, but mostly dad. Where were mom’s siblings? She had at this time 3 brothers and 6 sisters, and you know what, we had to CALL them to basically beg them to come over. WTF! My mother taught me when a family member or friend passes away, you make a dish, you go visit, you let them know if they need you, you are there!
Back to my mom’s siblings, we had to beg, and thinking about it now, I really wish we hadn’t. I also wish that the day of her funeral we would have made sure her siblings were escorted out for my dad, and my sisters and I had alone time with mom. But we didn’t. We weren’t turned like that. In a few years from now we find out just how much we are a part of mom’s family.
We buried mom on July 29th.
#BrokenButBelieving #GrievingDaughter #StillStanding #HealingOutLoud #SharingMyJourney
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