Monday, July 13, 2026
Spending my first week home after getting out of jail, I’ve had a lot of time to think.
Miles has been incredibly supportive. Even though I destroyed so many material things, he keeps reminding me that none of that matters compared to me being alive. He told me he was just thankful he wasn’t planning a funeral.
I’ve spent most of this week in bed with my leg elevated and an ice pack on it. My arm has stayed wrapped because the airbag burn kept oozing onto my clothes and bedding. My leg is still swollen, and in the center of the worst bruise is a hard knot that stays warm to the touch.
Physically, I know my body will heal. What surprised me most is that the overwhelming shame I felt at first has started to fade. Not because I forgot what I did, but because I’ve accepted that I can’t change what happened. I can only choose what I do from this point forward.
Material things can be replaced.
I can’t.
Looking back, I believe this accident became a turning point in my life. Whether I understand all the reasons or not, I know it forced me to stop and take an honest look at the direction I was heading.
Since then, I’ve started reading my Bible, beginning with the Gospel of John. I pulled out an alcohol recovery devotional I bought a few years ago but never really used, and now I’m working through it each day. I’ve also been attending an AA meeting every evening.
My life has become much simpler.
Without a driver’s license, I can’t just jump in the car and go wherever I want. If I need to go somewhere, I either have to walk, ride the bus, or depend on someone else. Oddly enough, that has slowed my whole life down.
The surprising part is that I haven’t wanted a drink since the accident.
I’ve also decided that I’m not in a hurry to get my driver’s license back. I want to know I can trust myself before I ever get behind the wheel again. Driving is a privilege, and I want to be certain I’m making that decision for the right reasons.
More than anything, I want to be clean and sober—not because of court, not because of a suspended license, and not because of what other people think.
I want to be sober because I want to become the woman I know I’m capable of being.
For myself.
For Miles.
For my children.
And for my grandchildren.
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