Saturday, July 18, 2026
By this point, there had been so many changes at work that it no longer felt like the place I had once loved. We had an entirely different management team, and then I was placed under the supervision of a woman I had trained myself.
At the time, I convinced myself that was the breaking point.
Looking back now, I know it wasn’t.
Alcohol was.
Almost every day, I would leave during my lunch break and drive to the liquor store. I would sneak drinks at my desk throughout the afternoon and then drive home intoxicated without thinking twice about it.
One afternoon, I drank far more than I should have during lunch. By around two o’clock, I could barely keep my eyes open. I went out to my car to take another drink from the larger bottle of Fireball I kept there.
Instead, I fell asleep in the backseat.
I have no idea how long I had been there.
The next thing I remember was someone tapping on my window.
It was one of my coworkers.
I was escorted into Human Resources.
I tried to explain that I had recently started a new medication and that it had made me feel sick.
It was a lie.
And I think they knew it.
They sent me home that afternoon. I was heavily intoxicated, and I honestly don’t remember driving home.
Over the weekend, I made the decision to resign.
I was convinced that if I went back on Monday, I would be fired anyway.
The hardest part for me to admit now is that I didn’t feel ashamed.
I was angry.
I blamed management for putting me under someone I had trained. I blamed the changes at work. I blamed everything except the one thing that was actually destroying my life.
Alcohol.
I kept telling myself everything would be fine. I had worked for the state for nearly nine years. I had always been a good employee. I’d find another job.
At the time, I truly believed I was walking away because of them.
Looking back now, I know I was really walking away because alcohol had taken control of my life.
Leave a comment